i just can’t seem to find the tears anymore.

seasons change… and just as naturally as the night rain fall turns into early summer morning dew, it all dries up and leaves with the winds of change. i wouldn’t say this place is quiet, but it is a certain type of… quieter. quiet enough to where this is usually the part where my tears get the best of me, but i don’t know, somethings changed… and i can’t seem to find the tears anymore… I don’t know why, and I try as hard as I can to let it go, let it out.. but it never comes… I wouldn’t say I’m numb to it all, not at all. but perhaps the unconscious part of me, the side of me that only exists and shows when it’s for reasons of self preservation; is to starting to blend with the everyday life part of me. if anyone knew the answer, it wouldn’t be me.