thoughts & musing.

“… if you’re not happy please don’t stay.”

and ever since then, I’ve had trouble staying… because the person I’m always not happy with, is myself.

I’ve always wondered if there was something different about me that makes me seem so… hard to love. I always feel like I’m fighting for something from everyone, something that I give to everyone. And for me, that thing comes so easily. It’s just simple acceptance of a person as a human being and the willingness to try to understand them and their perspective. And that’s because that’s something I’ve always envied and never received as a boy. Fatherless, abusive stepdad, an even more abusive mom.

Life’s been strange and it’s trippin’ me out.

I don’t really know what to say,

only that I’m not here to stay.